Walk along the mellow tunnel.

Last evening I received a call from my friend, Diana. She had recently got on-board as an Executive in Blue Ray Wedding planners as a member of the team of event management. It’s been 3 months now since she joined.

woman holding a book, next to a coffee mug

Filled with curiosity, I asked how are things heading at work? She replied in a very disheartened tone “I’m not sure about this“. I have known Diana since high school. A very talented, zestful and ambitious lady who would handle her tasks adroitly in the best way ever to get work done.

Being flummoxed, I asked as to what happened there? Apparently, her boss, Simran, has been giving her a very hard time at work. Let it be during any team meeting, brainstorming events, there seemed to be an unnecessarily created animosity between Diana and her colleague, Kate. Kate is an equivalent to Diana at creativity.

Even though Diana’s ideation would seem much better and long term than Kate’s, for some reason or the other, Simran edges out Diana. Not just once, twice but couple of times. As Simran has given room to such scenarios by being biased to her teammate, Kate enjoys this spotlight!

I had asked her if she has initiated a conversation with her boss, she said “As I approach her, she dodges upon and changes the topic.” It has reached to an extent where this biasness literally flips her out. In a nutshell, she feels rebuffed and useless at the end of the day. Completely accede to it. But what can be done? It’s not a very smart decision to leave the job stating ‘biasness’ as the reason.

Diana was not sceptical as she was ready to put down her papers the very next day. I had explained to her that “You cannot leave every job if you face this”. The main issue here is to set the record straight by defining your potential in a way which breaks down this chain of biasness.

Ask yourselves, before playing the blame game, how many of us actually act and work upon the scenario? How many of us looked at solving the issue? What steps did I take to mellow down the situation? I had suggested a few pointers to Diana to bring in a ray of hope at work for her.

Pave way for smooth talk. When we look at the relationship between Diana and Kate, it’s a very formal one yet poles apart. There is a clear cut friction between them. So first of all, take steps to deteriorate the level of friction. If it reduces to “It’s not like I can’t stand her” is much appreciated and better. For this to happen, take initiatives to talk to the Kate and try to be as direct as possible. From 2-3 conversations you will get to know certain things to an extent such as; What does she think about this formal relationship? What are her competencies and weaknesses? Her basic work behavior- A clear catch of it . How to push down this ego?

At the start it may be a little sticky, but as you go “her way” of talking and understanding the person, this will help us in the long run. Sit down straight and talk as directly as possibly to burn the thorns. It need not be a rosy relation which involves cups of coffee of texting everyday but a stable formal yet peaceful connect is much needed and adequate. Try to maintain the flow from your side. Try to empathize and share your thoughts on similar topics. Try to build a good rapport in this manner.

A two way street. At work, with your extent of calibre, approach your boss for more tasks and collaborative work. The biggest issue at work to realize that you have been snubbed is when you haven’t got ‘that recognition’ or ‘no equality’ is been maintained in the team. Instead of doing nothing, stay determined and request for more tasks which involves collaborative work with Kate. It’s a two way street after all! Once Diana starts supporting or encourages Kate at work in front of their boss, there is a possibility of Kate to support her back too as their equation now is another kind.

Establish your territory! Look out for delegation or decentralized work. If each of you is given different tasks and your space of working, you will own your space. Simran can split similar tasks between Kate and Diana to hit it off. This can be encouraged by team talks rather than solo meetings with Simran as collaborative voices are more louder and sets the serious mood. By this way, no ego is hit and people are peaceful with their sphere of work.

Encourage team meetings and dinners. This is highly recommended as it sets an off work mood. This is one of the luckiest chances to set things right as “no work is discussed at the moment”. Try to connect and build an amicable environment. Start the conversation where it is relevant to everyone present there. Click selfies and try to create a pleasant atmosphere, let it not go too tacky at the same time. At times, it’s us who need to do something upon it to create peace and basic happiness at work.

A month later, Diana called me up and said “Thing are much better”. In case she would have spoken in a tone which sounds very arrogant or rude to make things fine, it would have gone for a toss! Well, it’s much understood that patience and perseverance really pays off at the end as you need to be mellow at certain places to make things fall in place.

Being rude, arrogant, not respectful in return will take you to the other side of the tunnel rather than approaching the beam of light.

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